BAWDY.

[4:16] Do not leave me And if you come back? I promise to be there on time with all the cards Poetry made from your game

And if you come back? I’ll put on the shirt you liked so much Gestures that will make you forget Ill write to fill your body

And if you come back? I’ll smile at all times I will tell you my childhood woes and all my secrets

And if you come back? Ill Touch your hands … Feel Your skin And I’ll ask you to kiss me Take a deep breath I will not sleep until I hear all That has happened to you in one year

And if you come back? I’ll ask you to make love With words, gestures and looks Hold me down Use me Beat me Anything to feel that I am not.. Anything to show you.. I’ll be whatever you want

Devotchka - I am the modern young woman.

Aesthetics is beauty, and beauty is power. “Beauty is power like money is power like a gun is power”, and women of a certain age need to marry into money or buy a gun.

Not I.

My lips are soft and full, looking as if always expecting a kiss. My shirt cut low, my jeans real tight, and my heels too high. My words are soft and sweet, sickly-sweet, with a chemically aftertaste; I speak them slow to keep my audience in momentary anticipation, each word a deliberate suggestion. As I speak them they flow, slowly, up from my diaphragm and into my mouth, where they begin to flow out like syrup. They struggle to move through the air, you can see them dripping my calculated honey, my fickle love.

I am the daughter of the sexual revolution - my mother, the liberator, the daughter of men. She carried my body across the desert, hid my infant form atop the mount away from the hungry mouths of the six-headed beast.

Nowdays I simply walk the streets, with company if I must. My blood is warm, and so is my flask - which I keep next to my heart, in my front shirt pocket, along with my cigarettes and weed.

In my mind In a future five years from now I’m a hundred and twenty pounds And I never get hungover

Because I Will be the picture of discipline Never minding what state I’m in And I will be someone I admire

And it’s funny how I imagined That I would be that person now But it does not seem to have happened Maybe I’ve just forgotten how To see That I’m not exactly the person that I thought I’d be.

And in my mind In the far-away here-and-now I’ve become in-control somehow And I never lose my wallet

Because I Will be the picture of discipline Never fucking-up anything And I’ll be a good defensive driver

And it’s funny how I imagined That I would be that person now But it does not seem to have happened Maybe I’ve just forgotten how To see That I’ll never be the person that I thought I’d be.

And in my mind When I’m old I am beautiful, Planting tulips and vegetables Which I will mindfully watch over

Not like me now I’m so busy with everything That I don’t look at anything But I’m sure I’ll look when I am older

And it’s funny how I imagined That I could be that person now That that’s not what I want But that’s what I wanted That I’d be giving up somehow How strange to see That I don’t want to be the person that I want to be.

And in my mind I imagine so many things Things that aren’t really happening And when they put me in the ground

I’ll start pounding the lid, Saying, “I haven’t finished yet, I still have a tattoo to get, It says, ‘I’m living in the moment’”.

And it’s funny how I imagined That I could win this win-less fight Maybe it isn’t all that funny That I’ve been fighting all my life But maybe I have to think it’s funny If I want to live before I die And maybe it’s funniest of all To think I’ll die before I actually See That I am exactly the person that I want to be.

Fuck yes.

I am exactly the person that I want to be.